Toxic Positivity
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[00:00:00] Hey, welcome to today's episode of Retail Initiative. Today's a hard topic. Today is a little bit of a difficult one. I want to talk about the idea of toxic positivity, and more specifically, I want to talk about strategies for approaching seasons where things just aren't working. Uh, I, I was talking to someone this week.
[00:00:21] And they were sharing that like nothing was working in their business, that they had traction a while ago. But since then, like things have just tanked. And they're doing the things, they're doing the activity, but it's just not working. But then they said something interesting and they were like, yeah, but we're staying positive.
[00:00:39] We're staying positive. And we, we know that things are gonna work out okay. Um, we're just gonna stay positive and keep moving forward. And then I got on social and in a Facebook group that I'm in, someone posted the same thing. Uh, we're staying positive, but ladies like this, this is just really hard. What are you doing?
[00:00:56] We're gonna stay positive. And this idea of staying positive, and I think this can be dangerous. Now, if you've listened to me, you know that I'm obsessed, obsessed with mindset. I talk a lot about the, the fact that if we don't level up the way that we think, the way that we approach problems, that we're gonna have a hard time growing.
[00:01:19] And that that coexist with the idea that we can't just stay positive all the time. And that's where there's the idea of what's called toxic positivity. And toxic positivity is when we refuse to acknowledge a negative situation for what it is. We refuse to acknowledge our emotions and we really refuse to just address the situation.
[00:01:42] And so this is thing number one that I want to have you keep in mind and if you're gonna leave here to take away is, number one, disconnect yourself from the situation. Disconnect yourself. Look, we're in business here, and at the end of the day, it business is almost a game. It is not about you or your value or your worth.
[00:02:06] In fact, you are not a better person when your business is crushing it. And you are no worse or less valuable of a person when you're struggling. In fact, all of us struggle in different ways. Um, you know, have you ever argued with someone. Around something like political or religious, and it gets heated so quickly you say the wrong thing and then all of a sudden it just blows up.
[00:02:29] And why do we do that? Well, we do that because we are tied to that belief and it's like tied to our identity. And if that belief gets challenged, then our identity gets challenged. And that is a hard thing to move past. Well, that's what happens in business is when we. Tie our identity to the success of our business.
[00:02:50] It's really challenging to do the most important thing, and that is approach these situations rationally. Like, gosh, twice a year. I maybe more than that. Sometimes. It depends on the year, if I'm honest. I, I'll be at dinner with my wife and I'm like, Kristen, next month I don't know if we're gonna make payroll.
[00:03:11] I don't know where our, our next client's gonna come from. Like, oh my gosh, I just don't know what I'm gonna do. And she laughs at me at this point. She's like, Josh, you've been saying that multiple times a year for 10 years, and every single time it's worked out. Okay. And what am I doing here? Well, first half I'm like, Hey, you're gonna need to go back full-time.
[00:03:29] I'm gonna need you to cut back your spending and we gotta quit spending money. And what am I doing? I'm responding out of fear. Toxic pos toxic positivity says that we can't address things for what they are. But is addressing things for what they are having to just be fearful? No, I think we can approach it rationally.
[00:03:53] So instead of responding from fear, we can say, okay, what is the problem? What's actually going on? And then is there a solution to it? And so how do we avoid toxic positivity? And instead, like, how do we still make it through those difficult periods? What's the balance there? How do we not just stay positive, put a smile on our face, but how do we also not run to fear?
[00:04:17] So there's a few tactics that I want to give you. A few things that I want you to leave with today to help get through a difficult period. Um, and so that first one, remove yourself from the situation, something disassociate, uh, you and your identity from the problem that's going on. Two, control your influences like right now.
[00:04:42] If you're struggling in your business and you're opening whatever news app you read and you're reading about the economy and you're getting on Facebook and you're reading a bunch of people say, oh my gosh, with the economy we're struggling and the economy this, and the economy that. What does that do in your head?
[00:04:57] Does it spark fear or does it spark the idea that like, Hey, you know what? A lot of businesses have navigated tough economic circumstances. If they can, I can too. Which idea does it give you? The chances are if you're like most people, it gives the first, it has us run to fear, or do we have friendships that constantly kind of bring out this fear in us?
[00:05:22] We'll control those things. Don't surround yourself with people that make you fearful of your circumstances. Instead, work to surround yourself with people that say like, yeah, the circumstances are there. They are what they are. But you can't control your circumstances. You can't control the outside things, but what you can control is what you do.
[00:05:40] You can control the things that you do with the circumstances. My favorite person, probably ever, as far as like personal development, Jim Roone talked about like, look, we all get the same wind. But what's different is the way that we set our sale and when we are responding out of fear, we're setting our cell in the in the wrong direction.
[00:06:03] So if we can set it in a better direction, it can actually move us forward. So that's the big one of the biggest things is to control your influences. Remove yourself from things that cause you to be fearful, cuz we have to remove that second respond from a belief that a solution is actually possible.
[00:06:24] If you believe that there is a way, and really a good way to know that is has someone else found a way to do it? Respond from that belief. Don't respond from fear. And this is honestly one of the best places where coaches, um, can come in. Look, I've had a coach for the last, gosh, five years. I've had a few different coaches, amazing coaches, and it has made one of the biggest differences in my life because they have helped me navigate things where I've said, Hey, you've been through this before.
[00:06:51] Like you've already been where I am. Like, what? How, what questions should I be asking? What things am I missing? Consider doing that for yourself. But work to believe that a solution is actually possible, and then focus on the long term. One of my favorite books, um, it's called The Almanac of Naval. I can't even say his last name, I'm gonna be honest.
[00:07:15] But, uh, you know, he talks about like, if you're trying to approach decisions, always choose the one that is more painful in the short term when you're, when you're trying to make a hard decision, make the one that is more painful in the short term. And this is the hard thing about when things are tough, it tends to be really hard to make really good long-term decisions when you need cash right now.
[00:07:40] But what the problem here is if we only ever operate our business going from, I need cash now. I need cash now. I need cash now. I need cash now, will end up building a beast and it's not going to be the business that you want. And so here we can start to focus on the long term. And that's one of the cool parts here, is the idea of looking at, okay, I can remove myself from the fear because I can now imagine myself a year from now.
[00:08:08] And you can kind of build this character of like, who do I want to be? What kind of c CEO am I? What things am I delegating? How do I feel about my business? What kind of plans am I working with on my, what kind of things am I working with my team on? And, and how am I, like, what questions am I asking myself in the future?
[00:08:28] Not right now. In the future? Like what kind of ceo do I want to be? The ceo? That's the level with the level of business that I want to be. I need to be that person. Well, how do they think? What kind of things do they start to think about? And we can now start to say, okay, if that person was running my business today and they didn't need the cash, like right this moment, they were able to make the best long-term decision, what would they do?
[00:08:52] How would they approach it? Would they keep doing the same reel five times just hoping it's gonna take off? Or would they say like, Hey, our site experience is not great. So running, continuing to run ads is not going to be the best thing we, we've gotta hone in on that site experience. They're going to be able to make the best long-term decision cuz they, they aren't so fo focused on the short-term need.
[00:09:17] And look, I get that there are seasons. Where you do need cash and there's things that we can do that generate cash. I've written blogs about that. I've sent so many emails about that, but that's not a way to build a healthy, long-term business. But my encouragement to you, if you're in one of those seasons where nothing's working and it's just a beat down, avoid toxic positivity, but at the same time, Avoid running to fear.
[00:09:46] Avoid surrounding yourself with people that bring out fear, and instead surround yourself with people with community that says like, Hey, a solution is possible, and if a solution's possible, you can do it too. Because I, I believe in you. If you're here, you are the type of person that is committed to getting there.
[00:10:04] And that's my hope for you. That's what I want for you and your business. So, again, a little bit of a difficult topic, and I, I hope that you're not, I hope that this is one that you're like, oh, I'm gonna file this away and revisit when I need it. But if you did need it, I hope that it's encouraging for you.
[00:10:19] Um, don't choose fear. Remove yourself from the situation, um, and be able to walk out with the confidence of like, I can do this. I really can. And look at the situation accurately for what it is for, how difficult it is, but you can still do it, and that's what's powerful. So thanks for tuning in. Can't wait to see you next time.
